Badger Benson

Posts Tagged ‘Education’

Lost In The System – How public education failed me and I saved myself

I have a few nieces and nephews going to school for the first time this week. It’s so exciting seeing the pictures of them off to their first day of school. It made me think back to my early childhood. I’ve told bits and pieces of the story before, but I don’t think I’ve ever told it at length with the implications to my life included. Perhaps what I experienced might be to the benefit of children and parents entering the world of public education for the first time.

To set the stage of my journey I was a carefree kid living on a lonely gravel road in Central Iowa. It was small home with chipped paint and a front porch. I never thought about how run down it was until later in life. It was home to me! And while dad was at work I spent the days with my mother and the children she babysat for. Those were my first friends. Soon the day came when I started preschool and I met other friends. Preschool wasn’t bad; it was mostly play time and was only a short time in the morning. The teacher was nice and fun. I remember even learning a few things – like the “Silver War” (Civil War) as I called it. I have no complaints about my days in preschool.

Kindergarten is where things got off track for me. Back in 1984-85 the West Marshall school district had all day kindergarten that alternated days. (This changed in the following year or two from alternating full days to half day every day classes. I’m not sure what they are now.) I wasn’t prepared for a full day away from home. To make it worse I was separated from the friends I made in preschool. This really upset me and I had no interest in making friends with the “weirdos” I was now with. I disliked the teacher. I felt I had no reason to be there and no interest in anything we did. I hated the school lunches…disgusting. The bus ride home was long and made me miss my favorite cartoons. (I think we were always the last ones of the bus each year.) This stuff is all funny looking back on it…but also some serious implications I think can be drawn on.

Obviously the important thing is education. But in my mind at the time I didn’t see the value in something I didn’t enjoy. I spent the days in class starring out the windows thinking about everything I was missing in the world while I was coped up in a classroom. (This is probably played a role in developing my creativity and becoming an introvert.) Everything about it was just miserable. All I wanted to do was get home every day. In fact it got the point where I did all I could to not go to school in the first place. One day I even refused to get on the bus. I made the bus wait about 5 or 10 minutes while I stood halfway in the driveway while my poor mother stood on the porch with a stern look and telling me to get on the bus. In the end she won and it was another day off to the factory for me.

First Grade started off a little better. I was reunited with many of my preschool friends. In fact the first day of school I was approached by another boy who said, “Hey Brandon, I’m Brian from preschool, remember me?” We were best friends from that moment on. Thanks to Brian I actually opened up a little and the social dynamics improved. Unfortunately education worsened. We started spelling tests and I simply didn’t understand the instructions. (I guess I was starring out the window at the time this was explained.) The teacher would say a word and then speak it in a sentence, standard approach to spelling. I knew what to do…but I thought we had to spell the entire sentence! There was no possible way to achieve that at that skill level. I’d quickly scribble down a few letters barely before the teacher had moved onto the next sentence (word). I couldn’t keep up! It was impossible! And all around me the other kids were done in just a matter of seconds. How was that possible I thought! Fortunately in this situation the teacher did explain to me what to do after a week or so. After that I actually became a good speller!

The same couldn’t be said for that teacher’s approach to math. When I was that young I suffered from asthma and allergies pretty bad. During one asthma spell I missed a week of school. While I was out the kids were learning basic math. When I returned the teacher wrote “3+3=” on the board. She called on me to answer. I don’t know if she forgot that I had been away or if she was just that mean. Whatever the reason she never bothered to explain this foreign language to me that was now on the chalkboard. I can remember it all clear as the sky in the classroom windows I often escaped to during such moments. I had no idea what the hell this jibberish on the board meant! I was terrified. All around me I could hear the snickers of the other kids when it became apparent that I didn’t know the answer. The teacher finally ended the torture in disgust by solving the problem for me. Yes, the torture had ended. But the damage had been done.

I was humiliated. In my mind I didn’t realize I hadn’t been taught something. I just assumed everyone else automatically knew something that I didn’t. That further puzzled me. Was I that stupid? Was everyone else smarter than me? Instead of actually attempting to learn basic math my mind was consumed with the questions of whether or not I was stupid. I resented numbers and those stupid little signs of + -= that had no meaning to me.

However, out of that situation I developed skills that would serve me well later in life. I became a problem solver. I further developed my creativity. Even though I doubted my abilities in some subjects I became self reliant. No one was going to help me and I was too shy to ask for it anyway. First Grade now became a war to me. The war was me against the world. It was all about survival.

Survival meant cheating. I developed a system of waiting until papers were turned in. I waited for the opportune moment and went to that hand-in box and simply pulled out a paper and took it back to my desk. I erased the other kid’s name and put mine in their place, then turned in “my” paper. At the time I had no idea I was cheating. I was just doing what I had to do. This worked for a short time. Another kid caught on to what I was doing and started doing the same. He got caught. (He wasn’t as good with the eraser as I was.) The fear of getting in trouble ended my homework laundering scheme. After that I just copied answers when I could or simply guessed. How in the world I was able to pass two grades without knowing how to add or subtract is a mystery to me. I was either a proficient guesser who should have been at the horse track, or I simply fell through the cracks in the system.

I eventually learned to add and subtract. No thanks to the school system or a teacher. I figured it out on my own! It was in third grade. I remember the moment when I figured it out just by realizing what the concept of addition meant. Now I was still behind in math, and would forever lag behind; but now I had won a little victory. It made me realize that I could figure things out on my own. This would later be a blessing as well as a curse. Even though I had figured it out I still disliked math. So I overcompensated in other areas like social studies and English classes. Still, I was never considered all that great of a student. That’s how junior high and high school went. There’d be a few semesters where I got on the honor roll. Mostly it was just a matter of barely getting by.

My High School years were a blur. By that time I had just got fed up with it all. School was just a waste of time to me, or just time to socialize. I figured I could learn whatever I needed on my own. No more being fed up with what I did or did not know. This was a time to come out of my shell. It was time to step into the adult world, which to me meant working, driving all over the county, and partying with friends. I wrecked two vehicles and was arrested once. If it wasn’t for extracurricular activities like 4H and FFA I might have kept on a path of destruction. But I didn’t. In 4H and FFA I won awards. I found something I was good at. But like school sports and band those activities only last so long. At the end of high school I turned to work to fill my time. I had no desire to attend college. Not that I didn’t want to. I just didn’t know what it was I wanted to study.

This is where I tell people the two biggest lies you will be told during high school. 1. You will use algebra every day of your life. 2. You need to go to college.

Sure I use math and numbers every day. (I even question that as there’s been days where all I’ve done was sleep.) I suppose in the general definition of algebra, I do use it a lot. I’m not saying I’ve never figured out an equation. But hell if I have ever done 5 to the second power equals 3 the second plus B to the second every single day of my life since leaving high school. Certainly I have a dislike of math and not the skill level of most at it that might make me bias against it. My point though is that fear tactics like saying, “YOU WILL USE THIS EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE” is not a good way of selling learning to kids of any age. At least it wasn’t for me. On another note I really believe we’ve put too much emphasis on mathematics in recent years. All I ever heard growing up was “math and science, we need more math and science”. I’m sure that’s reasoned and well thought out. But increases in those subjects should not come at the expense of others. You know what I’m talking about. We have a nation of young people that are illiterate in history (and illiterate in general in many cases) and social studies. I even remember hearing some non-civics teachers even criticize civics classes as being disciplines you don’t need in life. Well…now we’re seeing the results of that mentality. We have a nation of young people that still lag behind in math and science, and don’t have a darn clue about our Founding Fathers and the Constitution. As the hip kids would Tweet today #EpicFail.

Lie number two – you need to go to college. Where did this non-sense begin? Sure there is undeniable evidence that the further you go with education the more successful you will be. There’s also common sense found in sticking to what you’re good and perfecting it. Let’s face it, college is not for everyone! Why do we push kids out the door of high school right into the college campus? Most times high school graduates simply aren’t ready for it. The end result can’t be good! It’ll simply end in disaster – a waste of time and money. Tragic really. How many of us can say that we knew what we wanted to do when we were 18? What harm is there in going out in the real world for a few years and discovery of what you want to do? Why do we rob people of that experience? Why does this lie continue? It completely flies in the way of common sense. Would you start a job you didn’t understand? Would you hire someone who was not qualified? Then why do we pressure kids into entering into something as serious as higher education when they are not prepared for it? For those who are ready…absolutely go right away! Great for them and no doubt they will have a head start on becoming successful. But still there are no guarantees. Who knows how many young minds we have short tracked in life with their respective fields because their talents were not allowed to develop sooner…because guidance counselors, other adults, and peer pressure told them that they must go spend a few years partying instead? I really believe we have done serious damage to our nation’s entrepreneurial pool by continuing this lie. In doing so we have marginalized the experience of higher education and fostered cynicism into young people who were not ready for the experience.

I’m happy that I waited to go to college. Who knows if the road I went down would have led to this point in my life if I hadn’t experienced the failures of the public school system that turned my mind away from the standardized approach taken to the masses in our schools? Since I wasn’t receptive to it I didn’t become a zombie to it. Certainly for a great number of people public education has been a success. My point isn’t to attack teachers or parents either. I’m just saying that we might want to reconsider what we’ve been doing all these years. If education has taught me anything it is to question everything. Why can we not question our system of education then? I don’t have the answers. But if we work through the problem we just might discover one. That’s how the process of education has worked for me.

In regards to my personal journey I will achieve my bachelor’s degree in six weeks around the same time I will turn 33 years old. I am tempted to keep going and earn my masters degree. Either way I’m looking forward to that moment when I’ll have earned something that I never would have thought possible as a little boy being mocked for not knowing 3+3=6. In all seriousness I say that my biggest challenge in life so far has been those early days of school. Truly it has! Everything else has been a breeze really. There have been times in high school years and adulthood when I thought the world was caving in and nothing could be worse. But those times were relatively short. In comparison getting lost in the system could have been absolutely tragic to my life. I never realized the odds I really have overcome!

The best part. While God has been there, my wife has been there, my parents and family have been there, friends have been there, and even teachers…I can say that with the exception of God, I did this all on my own. No one else is responsible for my learning. Period. Teaching aided in the lessons. Yes, others played a role. But it was I who made it happen and I will never let anyone else say otherwise. It’s easy to get lost in the system. But there is a way out if you choose to embrace that empowerment to pave your own way out.

Here’s my practical advice for children. (Actually it’s more for parents and teachers to encourage children and open minds to learning.)

Early Grades – Believe in yourself. Ask questions. Don’t be afraid of adults.

Junior High – Read. Avoid cliques. Talk to your parents as much as you can.

High School – Be involved in everything you can. Everyone forgets about your awkwardness. Things are never as bad as they seem.

College – Don’t go until you know what you want to do with it. Anything less is a waste of time, money and disservice to yourself…and your country.

Adulthood – Never stop learning.

Note all the times I use the word “you”. Your education is about you and no one else. Parents will be there and you’ll have great times with friends, and even learn from classmates, and you’ll have special teachers who leave an impression on you – but it is you who are in control of what you want to do. No one else is. It is YOU who are accomplishing something and doing the work. And never let anyone take that away from you. Embrace every challenge, enjoy each success, and learn from every failure.

I still am.

I read a wonderful devotion yesterday. It referenced the Great Wall of China. When the people of ancient China were being invaded by barbarians they built the Great Wall to keep the intruders out. The wall being advanced for the time, and even still admired today for it’s amazing length, height and thickness built with ancient methods couldn’t be penetrated. But still in the first 100 years of the wall’s existence China was invaded three times.

How was that possible?

Unfortunately due to human weakness. See, all three times the enemy simply bribed someone at the wall to open a gate allowing the hordes to enter.

We can take a good lesson from this in our personal lives, as well as a nation. On a personal level we need to be prepared for Christ’s return, for he surely won’t ask to enter, and no wall will stop Him. We can also apply it in our daily lives to look out for ourselves and our families – as a reminder that we do live in a fallen world. I’m not suggesting to not trust people, but rather…don’t let your guard down.

As a country we can learn from this too, especially in light of the border dispute going on in Arizona recently. All the laws and walls in the world can help solve a crisis, but they can only do so much if the people living under them are not educated and moral individuals.

Remember to honor those and pray for the families of those who have fallen to protect all those in our borders this Memorial Day.